As I popped Dead Sushi (2012) into my DVD player, I was really not sure what to expect. After watching the entire film, I am really not sure what I actually got.
The film starts out by introducing our apprentice sushi maker/martial artist protagonist Keiko. From the get go, the film is a pastiche of the style of Asian B Cinema. However when a bum gorily murders a young couple using the magical flying squid he possesses, I realised that this was definitely no ordinary film. So I felt that no ordinary review would suffice. As such I have decided to institute Misty from CinemaSchinema’s patented ‘dot points of sheer absurdity’ reviewing style (you can see this at work in Misty’s review of the awesome sounding Sand Sharks (2012) here). My thoughts on Dead Sushi went a little something like this:
- Rina Takeda, who plays the main character is really bloody good.
- An alarming succession of groin jokes.
- Re-animating serum (that explains the bum’s magic squid I guess).
- Dodgy special effects.
- Murderous sushi.
- Script makes no sense at all.
- Dodgy looking CGI blood. Looks far faker than prop blood.
- Without a doubt, the most disgusting kissing scene I have ever witnessed. An egg yolk is involved if that helps paint the picture.
- Fart jokes.
- Singing sushi.
- Best. Robot. Dance. Ever.
- Former sushi chef with a knife with a knife phobia.
- The main woman is awesome. And the film is never dull. That’s about all I got in the way of positives.
- Nose sushi.
- Lips sushi.
- Oh c’mon. I’m not sure, but I am pretty sure sushi just went into vagina. I’m too scared to rewind and check.
- Tuna-Man! decapitates a dude which causes a woman to inadvertently shower in his blood.
- Erm… two pieces of sushi having sex.
- A character exclaims “Things have reached the point where they no longer make any sense”. I think he was a bit slow on the uptake on that one.
- Sushi zombies.
- Quotable quote #2 “Mother fucking roast sushi” from a dude as his face is roasted by a piece of sushi. Then he eats it. Then his head explodes into flames.
- I need another whisky.
- Back with new whisky.
- Mmmm whisky.
- One guy is able to kill the sushi by screaming. Well that’s handy then.
- Sushi nunchakus.
- Giant sushi roll battleship
- Egg sushi offsider called Eggie.
- Big pharma.
- The sexual desires of Tuna-Man! are awakened.
- Fish shaped fireworks.
- The end.
I think that should give you a pretty good idea of whether or not this is the film for you. In summary, I like weird, nay I love weird. But was a little too weird for me.
Verdict: Schooner of Carlton Draught
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